ps. It's you as a Chicken

Vinyl Collection

2009-05-30T06:19:00.001-07:00

as I'm packing my things to move into my flat I felt this was a good time to take stock:

12":
Beastie Boys - Paul's Boutique
Black Flag - Damaged
Bon Iver - Blood Bank
Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago
Bruce Springsteen - Born in the U.S.A
Converge - You Fail Me
DOOM - Born Like This
Explosions in the Sky - Those Who Tell the Truth Shall Die, Those Who Tell The Truth Shall Live Forever
Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
Fucked Up - Hidden World
Fucked Up - The Chemistry of Common Life
Fucked Up - Year of the Rat
Fucked Up - Year of the Pig
Fugazi - The Argument
Godspeed You Black Emperor! - f# a# 00
Godspeed You Black Emperor! - Slow Riot for New Zero Kanada E.P.
Godspeed You Black Emperor! - Yanqui U.X.O
Grizzly Bear - Veckatimest
Meneguar - The In Hour
Meneguar - I Was Born at Night
Meneguar - Strangers in Our House (2007 European Tour Edition)
The National - Boxer
No Age - Nouns
Okkervil River - The Stage Names
Rolo Tomassi - Hysterics
Slint - Spiderland
Titus Andronicus - The Airing of Grievances
(27)

10"
Radiohead - Amnesiac

7"
Bon Iver - For Emma
Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal
Fucked Up - Crooked Head/I Hate Summer
Fucked Up - Dance of Death
Fucked Up - Dangerous Fumes
Fucked Up - Litany
Fucked Up - No Epiphany
Fucked Up - Police
Fucked Up - Triumph of Life
Fucked Up - Year of the Pig (Japan Version)
Fucked Up - Year of the Pig (UK Edition)
Fucked Up - Year of the Pig (US Edition)
Fucked Up/Haymaker - Split
Hearts - Love Letters and Murder Weapons
Meneguar - Bury a Flower/Freshman Thoughts
(15)

Simpsons episodes

2009-04-28T06:24:00.000-07:00

Simpson & Delilah (series 2)
Flaming Moes (s3)
Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk (s3)
Lisa the Greek (s3)
Homer at the Bat (s3)
Homer the Heretic (s4)
Bart vs. Australia (s6)
The PTA Disbands (s6)
Mother Simpson (s7)
The Day the Violence Died (s7)
Bart on the Road (s7)
Mountain of Madness (s8)
The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show (s8)
Homer's Phobia (s8)
Homer vs the 18th Amendment (s8)
The Trouble with Trillions (s9)
Lisa the Sceptic (s9)
Lost Our Lisa (s9)
Lard of the Dance (s10)
Viva Ned Flanders (s10)
E-I-E-I Annoyed Grunt (s11)
Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder (s11)
Grift of the Magi (s11)
Kill the Alligator and Run (s11)
Tennis the Menace (s12)
Hungry, Hungry Homer (s12)
The Sweetest Apu (s13)
A Star is Born-Again(s14)

the good years: 1994, 1999

2009-01-01T10:50:00.000-08:00

1994:
Blue Album
Crooked Rain
Dookie
Yank Crime
Downward Spiral
Kites
Diary
Ill Communication

1999:
Slow Zero
The Fragile
The Opposite of December
Something to Write Home About
American Football LP
Clarity
Agaetis Bryjun
Slipknot
Calculating Infinity
We Are the Romans
Madonna

other amazing 2008 songs

2008-12-22T11:38:00.000-08:00

Beck - Gamma Ray
Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Possess Your Heart
Earth - The Driver
Fuck Buttons - Sweet Love For Planet Earth
The Hold Steady - Constructive Summer
Hot Chip - Ready for the Floor
Lovvers - Human Hair
Rolo Tomassi - Nine
Meneguar - Some Other Life
Women - Black Rice

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=JCFSFJFL

2008 mixtape yo

2008-12-21T09:53:00.000-08:00

here is mine: 15 of about 20 potential amazing songs from this year:

1.Fleet Foxes - Sun Giant
2.Fleet Foxes - Drops in the River
3.Frightened Rabbit - Fast Blood
4.British Sea Power - No Lucifer
5.Maps & Atlases - Witch
6.White Denim - Mess Your Hair Up
7.TV on the Radio - Golden Age
8.Estelle ft. Kanye West - American Boy
9.No Age - Eraser
10.Fucked Up - Crooked Head
11.Deerhunter - Nothing Ever Happened
12.Conor Oberst - Milk Thistle
13.Bon Iver - For Emma
14. No Age - Brain Burner
15.A Silver Mount Zion - blindblindblind

get it here.

i'll probably post the other songs I liked tomorrow

also:

Dear America,

2008-12-02T10:26:00.000-08:00

I wish I was an American
because I'd have some pride
I wish I was an American
because I'd have some friends.

Dear America, please can I come stay for a while
My country is getting me down (things aren't working so well over here)
Sure our healthcare is great, and same for education,
But everyone is still very sad.
I see you on the teevee all the time and it excites me
at home all my politicians are dead
You're the land of opportunity, and I'd take full advantage.

I'd hang out with Sonic Youth in Brooklyn,
go take in some art.
Find some mid-west emo, and blues in the south
before going to L.A and
start a band and play at the smell.

In my country we have none of these
Everyone lies and copies each other
And then say the idea was theirs
People this this country is great but I ain't so sure,
maybe I'm missing something,
or maybe.

I wish I lived in America
because the people are nicer
and I know that doesn't mean they're always happy
but I could fit in.
I wish I lived in America,
I'd wear silver and blue
support the Dallas Cowboys
and not be sad anymore

ill do this properly soon but

2008-12-01T10:59:00.000-08:00

So, 2008, interesting year you were. More about gigs and festivals than actual records compared to your peers (2007) but you did give us Bon Iver & Fleet Foxes, let alone allowing Fucked Up and TV on the Radio to release hype busting records, and a return to form for British Sea Power! The evidence of course was that, this list was much, much, much easier to compile than last year.

1.Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago

As is always the way with your favourite bands, I first listened to this record the same week that Bon Iver did his UK tour in September. Oh what a fool I had been to ignore his obvious charms earlier, or I could have another contender (I can only imagine, judging from youtube) for live show of the year. Regardless, the point is just as the weather started turning cold, I got listening to this record and, just wow. Every song on this is gold and it is the only record this year to do so. Then I bought it on vinyl and it became official: This is my favourite record of the year. The Long Player format concreted everything that is amazing about this record; a soulful, charming voice, beautiful production and atmosphere that literally sounds like a peaceful snow covered land, and quite simply, stunning songs. Expect this to top many people's lists.

2.Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes/Sun Giant EP

For most of the year however, I was sure it was this that would be top. This isn't to say it was far off Bon Iver; it is certainly a far more challenging record, but it was pipped to the post on approachability, of which Bon Iver's effort has by the bucket full. That isn't to say Fleet Foxes didn't rock the world when they exploded onto the scene, and its easy to see why. This is a fantastically upbeat and summery record (polar opposite to Bon Iver) which both reminds the listener of some of our best past treasures, as well as clearly pushing things forward. I actually in some cases prefer the Sun Giant EP (which is of the same recording session) because it has amazing stand out tracks and takes, a lot less energy to listen to. But really, their entire output this year matches up and is simply divine. I'll be interested to see how other people vote between Bon Iver and this.

3.Fucked Up - The Chemistry of Common Life/The Year of the Pig EP

The Other main battleground in my list other than the top 2 was, much like the premier league, number 3 and 4. In the end though, no matter how Objective I tried to be, Fucked Up had to be third. They just had to. They're my favourite band in the world right now and although this is by no means their best a record; still a very enjoyable and solid one that continues to push things, show an appreciation for Bands like Sonic Youth and My Bloody Valentine alongside Bloc Party and do things in very much their own way. Undeniably easier to get into than 'Hidden World' (i.e.; the songs are shorter) but no less challenging.

4.TV on the Radio - Dear Science

TV on the Radio are fucking great aren't they? I mean really, really great. There's something really pleasing about this band and everything they do, and this year, they beat the hype that surrounded them and released what I would say is, their best record yet. Some of even dared to compare it to 'OK Computer' in its opaque lyrics and context (a huge superpower of a country going through Change) but it does have some fantastic tunes and some really clever themes, both musically and lyrically running through it, and is, simply, a triumph.

5.British Sea Power - Do You Like Rock Music?

Shit, a British band made the top 5! Yeah, this year I am happy to announce the first of two really excellent British albums to make the list, and this was probably my first really good album of the year. Up until this Sea Power were relatively hidden from me, which perhaps was a help whereas for others was a hindrance. All I know is, this record has some of the best songs and dare I say it "anthems" of the year just through the combination of atmosphere and general feel-good factor.

6.Conor Oberst - Conor Oberst

I never really got Bright Eyes, i'm not gonna lie. But when I heard Conor here was playing an otherwise pretty shockingly bad Reading Festival line-up, I felt I could do much, much worse. Both I and a good friend of mine are happy to report then that this, was indeed a turning point. Conor simply stole the weekend up until that point with one of the most confident and heart-renderingly charming performances I had ever seen, as he and his newly collected 'Mystic River Valley Band' ripped through songs off this record. From there on, this album was a new love.

7.Maps & Atlases - You, Me & The Mountain

I'm terrible with not following up bands from the past who made an impression on me. For some reason at first (I guess becuase it had been a while) I was not at all bothered that Maps & Atlases (who two years earlier caused a small revolution for me with their Trees, Houses, Swallows record) had a new EP out. I suppose then it is out of good fortune that they were one of the first bands I got to see after re-locating to Glasgow for University, because they reminded me quite harsly that I would be an idiot to let this one go. Simply put, this was just as charming and an even more mature take on their already fantastic niche sound that they had already laid out for themselves, and this cemented their place as a band to take seriously.

8.No Age - Nouns

No Age were a bit of a slow burner for me. At first I was worried about all the hype, then systematically didn't get the hype, then did. A lot of credit has been paid for their work to reinstitate a music scene in their native Los Angeles and I think any situation where a band tirelessly work to get people interested in music again is definitely due its credit. I had pretty much always had the song 'Eraser' on the go but couldn't see much past it, but when it finally did click, it became somewhat of my album of the summer, and a great effort it was too.

9.Rolo Tomassi - Hysterics

Another band who deserves a lot of credit for triumph over adversity is this lot. Tomassi have had to deal with hecklers, their own reputation and worst of all the british music media, but have come out of it looking more mature and ready than ever, armed with this fantastic record where the once tongue-in-cheek game boy sampling band became a very real, very dark prospect.

10.Earth - The Bees Made Honey in the Lion's Skull

And Finally, an Earth record. Nearing their twentieth year as a band (or at least, as Dylan Carson under this name) it would be an understatement to say this band have been through a lot. And yet, just from their simple brand of droney, minimalistic music they are still churning out fantastic records each coming from different reference points. In this one's case, its country and gospel music, and it is both fucking heavy as it is eerie and, strangely peaceful. When this record came out, spring was just starting and the sun was starting to get longer, this album it seemed was a perfect accompaniment to watch the world waste away.

best family guy episodes - short list

2008-11-10T06:30:00.000-08:00

1.He's too sexy for his fat
2.To Love and Die in Dixie
3.Petarded
4.Barely Legal
5.Death has a Shadow
6.Love Thy Trophy
7.The Thin White Line
8.Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington
9.Peter Griffin: Husband, Father... Brother?
10.Mind over Murder
11.Road to Rhode Island
12.Patriot Games
13.Mother Tucker
14.The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou
15.Blue Harvest

and again

2008-11-07T10:10:00.000-08:00

all the time I feel like I'm distracting myself
from the great beyond
like i'm playing up to the fact
that i'll live forever

I'm still scared about everything,
I still don't want to lose
everyone I care about
I guess I still don't see the point.

the question is will I ever be prepared?
Will I ever be ready to accept
what I cannot possibly deny
will it ever stop hurting?

My Home; An Open Letter

2008-09-18T04:39:00.000-07:00

I wrote this at work a couple weeks ago; I had enough of British people and particularly at my home so I started to write. This of course aroused the interest of most of my colleagues as if they'd never seen a person writing before. I kinda feel it sounds like the opening to a novel (I feel my influences for this are Dickens' "The Key Note" and Orwell's "1984") but there is no story to accompany it; there probably never will be. SO, this now, I feel, is an open letter to the place I spent my first 20 years (just about) of existence living, just as I'm leaving to go to Uni in Glasgow (another reason why I ended up typing this up here; I wanted proof that I had done it.) I never name the place in question, but I feel its probably pretty obvious.

By the way, for my next project I want to look at the entire subject of "Middle England" and the "Midlands" and its loss of identity.

There is a town to the east that is well known. It is known as a place near our capital. It is considered by many as a novelty; a cheap 'n' cheerful holiday destination. It's understandable to see why; it is remote and unspoilt. There are no major roads imposing themselves, and it is a country of which there are fields stretching for miles in the West, woodland that is stunning in the Winter to the South, a whole system of rivers and canals and broads in the East and, if you go to the North, there are beaches, some of stone and some of sand.
Its easy to forget, as an outsider, that people and work here as well; and not just in tourism. It is, like the South-West peninsula or the far North, similar to those countries on the Mediterranean that people filter, spoil, and eventually, change.
But what of the people? What do these people think and feel given they've chosen a life of isolated calm; like a hermit on a deserted island.
Well, they're often looked down upon by the big cities: as I said before, they are considered, a novelty. The Unfortunate thing is, these people very rarely have an argument to respond with, not a leg to stand on, and the problem I face as a resident of this place is, what am I supposed to feel? Pride? Shame? Both?
Of course, I'm not the first young person on Earth to feel detached and alienated by their home. The Trouble, I suppose, is that the problem still exists. But maybe, it's not a problem. I read something the other day that asked the question; "Why do the best artists (be it in art, music, or any other expressive mediums) come from shitty small towns?". I may be wrong, but it seems to me that the answer is pretty simple. When you've grown up feeling dissatisfied with the surroundings you're supposed to be happy in, it means you begin questioning "Why?" at an early age. It is people like this I sympathise with the most. Yeah, in the big cities, the people who were dissatisfied with their homes go to 'find themselves' and each other. If you come from a big city and can afford the luxuries that constantly brings, you instantly get used to it and see it as a standard of living. This is why they look down upon those who are not, and they are better because they are. But that doesn't make it O.K. This, is what has replaced Classism. On the flipside, those who have accepted a life of mediocrity are often scared or intimidated by those who haven't. This is a major baseline of thinking in the U.K.
In the towns, particuarly the remote ones, people think their choice is the right one (just like those in the big cities) as there is no obvious threat or even at times cultural differences/diversity which leaves people unchallenged and obsessed with themselves and bitter over trivial matters.
Pretty much everyone at home is middle class. There are groups who are worse off and there are groups who are better, but everyone is fundamentally the same (and aspire to be at least one lever higher despite it never actually coming). As well as this, everyone is of average appearance; the rich people are also the pretty people, the poor people are also the ugly, but as the majority are in the middle, they are physically too. This adds to the mediocrity.
The attitudes are pretty consistent too. In some of the outer reaches of the town, into the countryside it was not uncommon for people in this region to be compared to those in the deep south of America. Not many are actually racist or homophobic or sexist (although some are all of those things) but there are some stunningly ignorant views passed down from generation to generation. The extremities of these views tend to vary depending on what part of the country you are in, but they exist. Again, this mostly goes unchallenged because, like most of the country, it is white with the exception of that, here, it is a literal white-wash blanket. The small minority of afro, chinese, indian, pakistani and persians (mostly turkish) there are live an equally quiet life and joing the system in place, reletively unharmed: This is ignorance, not racism.
The town is of no particular religious or political persuasion either; this is the amazing extent of apathy in this place. there are many chruches; one for every sunday in the year, but people go less and less. Before World War II this part of the country was predominately protistent, christian. But, like many parts of the country, the acts of war and new technology took people away from religion, leaving only the older generation and anyone else to be ostracised for their beliefs and upbringing. The trouble though is that there hasn't been a definable consensus since; a lot of the people have ignorant ideas of what people with faith means, but haven't much to answer for themselves.
Politically, there is no clear winner either. Of the small amount who do vote, each party have an equal say. You could argue that this is a clever political statement by these as it shows that. really, every political party is exactly the same and are untrustworthy. But really, they just don't care. The rich vote blue, the workers vote red, the fair weathered vote yellow and, strangely, a bunch of self-imposed "Eco-warriors" vote green. Even more worryingly is that they are in joint power over the country, which says a lot about a place if a nonsensical, unrealistic political party is in power.

Untitled

2008-09-04T15:18:00.000-07:00

I can feel the youth fleeting
from my lungs and from my eyes
I can feel all the pressure of everything
I've ever done.
I can feel the age settling in and
when you're not around I can't help
but let it scare me.

So when all is said and done and
all those people I cared about
have gone and its just you and me left
I hope you'll hold my hand
cuz I don't feel I'm strong enough.

I hate this house when I'm alone,
all the laughter and air is gone.
It's just me and my head
and we're pretending everything O.K.
But really its an argument.

Do I expect to much of you to care?
Is it harsh when I'm disappointed?
What if every choice I make means nothing,
what if everything I've said will lead nowhere.

Four years is a long, long time when
you're in a dark place.
I guess this means I miss you
and everyone.

And the creeping emptiness that tries
to eat me whole.
I have to push it away with lies when
I don't know the answer.

One day I'll be regarded a poet,
I hope I can keep it together until then.

Family Guy's best episodes

2008-09-01T17:01:00.001-07:00

Is it me or do they seem to come in clusters?

in Season one, the first, second and fourth episodes (Death has a Shadow, I never met the Dead Man & Mind Over Murder, respectively) are all amazing works.

and then there's the end of season 2 which has some total jems:
Fifteen Minutes of Shame
Road to Rhode Island
Let's go to the Hop
Dammit Janet!
There's Something about Paulie
He's too Sexy for his fat
E. Peterbus Unum
The Story on Page One
Wasted Talent

Season 3 is less consistent but still follows the same rule in that, the first three episodes (The Brian leaves episodes and Mr. Griffin goes to Washington) are all brilliant pieces and then towards the end theres another trio;

To Love and Die Dixie
Screwed the Pooch
and
Peter Griffin: Husband, Father... Brother?

This said, series 4 and 5 are nearly all really excellent episodes and show a family guy that although more gag based was also a lot more sure of what it wanted to; and took advantage of that brilliantly.

Honestly, I was a little disappointed by Season 6, none of the episodes or gags were really that special.

Reading Festival 2008: Friday - "Band Implosions, returns and dissapointments"

2008-08-25T08:17:00.000-07:00

So after arriving on the wednesday night and having a full day of hang on thursday, it was pretty good to see some actual bands play by the time of friday; despite probably being the weakest of the three.

It was with great sadness but also some pride to see the final blow to Be Your Own PET on the Friday. We already knew that it was all over for them after these shows and what emerged was a sarcastic and bitter band whom were clearly frustrated and hence the break up. It was a messy set and they didn't really seem to care but when you're a punk band at times that can be brilliant; 'Bicycle', 'Damn Damn Leash', ' Bunk Skunk Trunk'. Really it was quite sad to see them go out like this, I only hope their real final show in London (and liverpool last night) is better. For me though, all it proved was that people never got what was once one of our most hyped and loved band of nashville teenagers.

Biffy played 'Puzzle', and MGMT and Vampire Weekend I gave a wide birth after seeing their pleasing but crowded sets at T in the Park a month earlier so it was upto Queens of the Stone Age to save the day and, to the wonderful sunburnt sky, did with aplomb. A fantastically varied and interesting set which saw at least one song from every album and the abilty to just rock out. Josh Homme still has one of the best voives in the business; and he proved that with a wonderfully stripped down version of 'Go With the Flow' as an opener. What followed was a huge sound (if you were standing in one of the few bits of field where it sounded good) and some excellent jams including 'Millionaire', 'A Song for the Dead' and a 'Regular John/Sick Sick Sick' medley. awesome.

I wish I could say the same for Rage. This was my second attempt at seeing the band that changed a lot for me years ago and still I just couldn't get into it. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, I mean, there wasn't really anything wrong with the set as such as it was still tight and very loud, but for me there was something very flat about it. I guess I didn't believe in the passion they were trying to put across - the show felt kinda forced to me, let alone the bizarre entrance which just seemed like bad taste to me. That and they pretty much only played songs from the self titled album and 'The Battle of LA' - the two albums I consider to be the worst and most overplayed and overhyped - and thus barring a pretty good version of 'Ashes in the Fall' it just didn;t do anything for me. In the end I gave up and saw the end of Less than Jake who were pretty excellent; 'Gainsville Rock City' probably being a festival highlight.

Number of known Nirvana covers: 1; Pennywise - Territorial Pissings
Number of Johnny Marr sightings: none.
Hours awake: 21.

2008

2008-08-01T07:54:00.000-07:00

British Sea Power - Do You Like Rock Music?
Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
Meneguar - The In Hour
Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
Earth - The Bees Made Honey in the Lion's Skull
A Silver Mount Zion - Thirteen Moons 13 blues

upcoming:
Deftones - Eros
Mogwai - The Hawk is Howling
Deerhunter - Microcastle
Rolo Tomassi - Hysterics
Okkervil River - The Stand Ins
FUCKED UP - THE CHEMISTRY OF COMMON LIFE (released on my birthday)

albums

2008-07-31T16:45:00.000-07:00

Calculating Infinity, Miss Machine, Hidden World, You Fail Me, No Heroes, f# a# oo, Yanqui U.X.O, Turn on the Bright Lights, Antics, Clarity, I Was Born at Night, Wonderful Rainbow, Madonna, Those Who Tell the Truth..., Amnesiac, Kid A, Spiderland, Boxer, Daydream Nation.

6 best songs and 1 instrumental

2008-07-31T07:41:00.000-07:00

these are my favourite songs ever/now; (in no order)

1.Interpol - PDA
2.Meneguar - House of Cats
3.The National - All the Wine
4...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead - Mark David Chapman
5.Wolf Parade - I'll Believe in Anything
6.Fucked Up - Crusades

and

1.Explosions in the Sky - The Moon is Down

fucked

2008-07-26T14:46:00.000-07:00

doomed. we're all fucking doomed
sometimes its really hard to really see a point, to it all. I exist sure but i'm only going to stop, one day. and so is every fucking person I care about. How do you cope with it? what's the fucking point? Me and everyone who's good is only going to die anyway and then that's it. it's all over. So what really is the point? I know life's a gift but I just don't wanna go through the pain. Maybe its what I need if I'm ever gonna learn.
we all fucked.

its on again

2008-07-22T13:03:00.000-07:00

death seems pretty optional 'til
its a heartache and a room getting smaller
and there's little else to grasp on
and everything hurts

but maybe its the only way you'll
be able to ever cope again
and grow and carry on living
(grow and carry on)

and I knew I wasn't over this
every night its the same I think
the same thoughts every night.
Those ones that scare me to death

and somehow its worse with you,
when I think about how one day
one of us we'll be gone and the
suffering will start again

I know i'm told that I worry way too much
and that this is the sad reality
but I still can't put it out of my mind
and I can't say how I'll feel when I
finally lose someone I love.
Until then I'll wait and believe that
death doesn't effect me;
as scary as that is.

T in the Park

2008-07-16T05:38:00.000-07:00

So this weekend I went to the country's second biggest yet strangely under appreciated festival T in the Park in Balado, Kinross, Scotland. For those who don't know, it as a festival sits just in between Glastonbury and Reading/Leeds in line up choices, and to be fair the whole scale of the affair was quite something (choices of 3 or 4 big headliners on the Saturday and Sunday is pretty impressive with; Rage Against the Machine, Kaiser Chiefs, Ian Brown and Interpol one night and R.E.M, the Prodigy and Primal Scream the other).

Sadly the event has been slightly marred by the death of one 32 year old man of "illness" (we presume alcohol poisoning) and another who was brutally stabbed but seems to be making progress; our best wishes go out to him and his family. This is pretty sad because, despite the facade of getting into the festival grounds on Friday morning, this was one of the best organised and most pleasant festival experiences I've had (literally pissed all over Reading/Leeds for comfort and atmosphere and people not being wankers).

Anyway all this aside here was my experience of the festival and the awesome amount of diversity going on:

Friday: Not a lot happening on this half day, it took a couple hours to fight our way in and to top it off no one of interest in performing til 11 o'clock. Wondered around a bit, began weekend drinking, usual crack. Chemical Brothers kick proverbial ass with their set, and the Futureheads are also great but perhaps deserve a bigger crowd.

Saturday: Long wait til the festival really gets going, and my does it when it huts. But until 4pm we still have to wait for the first band of interest, Lightspeed Champion. Toilets are getting grim but I can't help wonder how good natured everyone is being about it all. Lightspeed put on a very good performance to kick off the festival for me (8/10) with a girl drummer who is both hot and ridiculously good at drums. WIN. Shame the same can't be said for Biffy Clyro whom have officially lost their way. One hoped a homecoming show would mean a greater choice of songs but they still opted for new songs and not only that, badly played new songs (3/10). The Hold Steady gets things moving again nicely though with their Tom Petty/Bruce Springsteen branded alt-rock, mostly by having a fantastic sound (7/10). MGMT unfortunately turns out to be one of the more annoying performances as the relatively small Pet Sounds tent is filled with radio 1 listening idiots for their one and only visit to that tent. The band themselves are OK but also kinda over zealous on the prog-rock and using back-tracks for the "hits" (5/10). So, everyone predictably empties out and thus missing one of the performances of the weekend in Band of Horses, whom have a fantastic sound and tight performance but one of the more endearing acts of the weekend (8/10). Call me biased but Fucked Up are the best band in the world right now. After convincing the rest of my group to go see them luckily they didn't let me down. In fact, this may have been their best yet for me and they ripped through 7 songs in 35 minutes with ear splitting volume and as usual a fantastically tight performance. The band aren't a bit disheartened by the mostly empty tent they play to (about 50 people at the most) and in fact use it to their advantage by playing in the little crowd that were there. awesome (10/10). After 15 minutes of Rage Against the Machine I gave up when they played a disgracefully slow version of 'Bombtrack' and left the old has-beens to it to see Interpol play probably one of their most intimate sets for quite sometime. I bumped into the drummer of Fucked Up on my way and freaked him out a little by remembering his name from a previous chat in Leeds a few months back; he was as charming as ever though. Interpol was an odd one, seeing as no-one seemed to hype them up too much this time, which was probably a good thing because it gave people a chance to be surprised as they went for a mostly singles based set but from equal tracks from every album. I knew it was worth leaving Rage though when they closed on a terrifying version of 'Roland' (8/10).

Sunday: Much busier day today, kicking off with My Morning Jacket who were, good but not great as they went for a mostly new album oriented set (6/10). Battles were great but let down by a poor sound that seemed insistent on not letting John Stainer's always incredible drumming be heard. Weird scenes when some of the crowd treated 'Atlas' as a lad rock sing-along, but 'Tonto' and 'Race:In' were out of worldly (7/10). Unfortunately had to miss British Sea Power in favour of Battles, but next up on the Kings Tut stage were Vampire Weekend who in a slightly bigger tent than MGMT the day before manage to fill with complete idiots too. Weekend's set was solid with pretty much the best of their debut being played and played well, but, they felt miles away and well over three quarters of the crowd were only paying attention when 'a-punk' was on, and even then they struggled (7/10). Luckily for us, Yeasayer went on an hour late meaning they didn't clash with their New York Afro-beat rivals and, were completely necessary after the drudgery of people at Weekend. Yeasayer give the other punk rock performance of the weekend and destroy the small Futures Tent without even trying or being hindered by the poor turn-out. By complete contrast of what had just happened, they played a passionate and energetic set which, due to the use of electronic instruments in their live performance, reminded me alot of Animal Collective. Not what I was expecting, but fantastically executed (9/10). Then the day flew out of proportion for a while; perhaps it was the copious amounts of cider but Justice in the dance tent followed by the National was by far the greatest moment of the weekend. Justice literally blew people away kicking open their set with album opener 'Genesis', the cross illuminating in gold as the music blasts through their 18 Marshall cabs and ripping through such fantastic songs as 'D.A.N.C.E' and 'DNVO' (10/10). The walk from that tent to Pet Sounds was one of hyperactivity as the pue hysteria that just took place sank in as we left a very dark tent out into the open air; jumping over many obstacles of drugged up guys and girls to get through. When we arrived at The National, they'd just began 'Start a War' a crux in their set for sometime now and from there just took off. The National just gave what every other guitar based rock band of the weekend couldn't; brilliantly executed songs, a massive almost orchestral sound, and a really exciting energy and connection between all the players involved (8 in total) that was almost scary to watch. Here The National challenged perceptions and their peers whom were also in attendance (Interpol, R.E.M) and thus took the festival to a special place even if for just 50 minutes (10/10). By contrast of what had just prevailed, Kings of Leon and Holy Fuck both seemed a bit cagey by comparison; both were good, and perhaps if both on the previous day could have left more of an impression, but neither could keep up to the standard or how high the bar had just been raised by two pretty similar acts. All that was left then was for R.E.M to close the festival; a choice that had us debating into the early hours with the conclusion that, perhaps they weren't the best choice if you wanted a band with a huge supply of "bigger songs" to close the festival, but that you couldn't fault them for their performance or really their pretty varied set choice. Yes all but 'Everybody Hurts' were there as far as big singles go (although they didn't look massively bothered about playing them) and yes, newer material had to feature; there is an album to push after all. But that took up approximately half the set, leaving the rest to be old gems that perhaps would have been better placed at an actual R.E.M gig rather than a main stage festival appearance; but that is who R.E.M are and at least they still gave most of the fans what they wanted so it wasn't like it was an entirely selfish show, more of an agreement between the band and the audience to allow balance and thus keeping the integrities of both parties (8/10).

Phew. So that was my T in the Park experience. Conclusions would be; MGMT and Vampire Weekend and inexplicably over hyped and leaves the question of "why them and not the national or yeasayer?", there was something for everyone to enjoy and at least by having both acts like Battles and Amy Winehouse it kept unsavoury types separated and finally that, going to festivals that are so nice and well behaved it's a little bit unnerving; particularly when you consider the size of the thing. Will I go again next year? depends on the line-up, however if it continues to be one as varied as this year and as pleasant, I don't see why not.

its been a while

2008-05-09T01:21:00.000-07:00

but you understand I've been up for a few hours and now its 9:22 am:

I don't trust art school kids cuz I can't tell whether they're being genuine or not; my experience of artists are far-away people who either down-dress or go completely zany but always have little goatees. I don't like art that much anyway, most of it doesn't seem to effect me much; guess I just don't see life in that way.
Anyway, me and my mates often go to this bar that's designed for students at the art school (which is kinda beyond me anyway because why you'd want to study something like art in Norwich I'll never know) and they rarely ask but if they do its cool cuz a couple of my mates do study here and they are allowed guests. And I mean, we certainly look the part. I know the borderlines of how young people dress are pretty blurred anyway but we, looks wise anyway, fit in with this lot; tonight I'm wearing my yellow/blue tablecloth check fred perry (£25 at the worlds biggest vintage market; tk maxx!!) and black girls drains; and this is a look you can find pretty easily with this crowd.
We go to do this thing called "the three oranjeboom challenge" which is basically us just buying cans of this cheap Dutch beer of the same name three at a time and giving off the impression that we're really good at drinking or something (also it's the only place that stocks Desperado's, you know that beer and tequila drink?) and we often get comments from people saying this; really though we just think we're funny when we know we're not. I also go because I like the place itself; its set in what used to be one of the many churches in the city before we more or less gave up on religion entirely in yet another apathetic (or worse atheist stance led by the biggest hypocritical cock end of them all Richard Dawkings who take people like my dad in and do exactly the same thing they accuse religion of) move by the people of Norwich; and this makes it large and lofty and spacious. There are chairs and couches everywhere and a stage with a pool table on it (bar rules 1-10 in multi-coloured chalk on a board nearby) and a large paper zepplin presumably made by one or many of these students. There's also a few paintings hanging around but its unclear who actually made them which doesn't help my dilemma or distrust any more and these are OK. On one wall (its actually an alcove to both the entrance and fire exit to the place) there are bottle after bottle of jagermeister (all empty) lined up on the edge (we think they're stuck on because it would be a health hazard otherwise but we can't help but throw things at them to see what happens - nothing yet).
And as for the students, well, I generally don't feel a lot for them (probably linked to their art I geuss) there's a lot of them and they're less annoying than the "average" student and it's constant desire to get in your face and drink a lot and be "wacky", but they're just there, and I guess that's fine. I mean some of the girls are very attractive and stuff and a couple are even a little mysterious (these potentially are the only true artists of the group) but that's about as noteworthy as it gets. So when I don't feel much for the students I can't help feeling much about their "work". It seems to me that there's way too many "artists" around at the moment. A quirky quick-fix which I guess isn't hurting anyone but inflating a lot of egos (not that this bunch will show that, they're sly like that) and I guess that's what modern art was founded on. It's just that there's so many of them claiming to do it I guess. When I used to go this college in the city for people all around the surrounding areas the kids who took art then weren't very artistic or interesting (mind you, barely anyone at that college were particularly artistic or interesting - it's amazing I found any decent people there at all) and now some of them have kept this pseudo dream up by going to Art School and getting full blown diplomas in something that's supposed to be expressive.
I guess this is what all this stems from; back in high school I was all excited and fresh faced about being able to take Music as an actual subject. And some of it was OK; mostly when we were allowed to let rip and just jam in our own little collectives and for that age and time, it was fine. But when they actually started to try and teach us shit about %90 of us didn't want to know. Most of this was out of a dislike for the bumbling teachers and the material they tried to force feed us, but for me personally it turned out to be more of a protest. I got increasingly dissatisfied with the course as it went on because, at the same time, I was going home and finding all these new exciting bands and carried the torch of punk rock that little bit further and basically realised that I didn't learn anything from sheet music or classic composers or even the teacher's pitiful attempts at trying to teach "modern music" (I read in the paper not so long ago that they want to include 'Britpop' as part of the syllabus to appeal to that key 14-16 yr old demo. - which is hilarious is my view because it means suggesting that britpop was indeed ever a relevant or important shift in music and not ripping other stuff off shamelessly) I learnt from life experiences and finding sounds for myself and then expressing them in my playing of an instrument (Bass Guitar, since you asked).
And so basically all I got from those two years (which for any 14 to 16 year old is hardly plain sailing as it is anyway) was the idea that "you can't teach stuff that is supposed to be a personal expression or people's opinions" (this later re-appeared in my life at that aforementioned college when I took on it's awful "Sociology" course). And when I see my peers, people my age walking around an arts school hanging out with each other and not doing much else I generally don't trust them. Because it must mean that they've bought something I consider complete bullshit (of course, one or two of them will be using it to their advantage and therefore winning and I say kudos to them but at this current moment in time it's pretty hard to tell because I have to try and socialise with these people so I don't bother witch-hunting).
So I don't really trust art school students, but then again, who the fuck died and put me in charge?

boston is the reason I'm feeling so blue

2008-02-08T09:16:00.000-08:00

I've never been to Boston but I would like to.
I've heard Fall Out Boy quite like American Nightmare lyrics.

This morning I woke up
in suburbia
went to school to early and
took too many tests
Bored by fifteen
liked seeing my friends though

Got out, sixth form
some kids left but I
never cared much for them
Still the same friends I
always had, don't need
anyone else.

We've all dated once or twice,
this circle thinks its got
high aspirations, working at NU,
selling insurance for the rest of my life,
to people who did nothing
at all with their lives

And i'm still annoyed because
I'm still here, but at least I
can climb above the suffocating
breath you throw at me everyday;
I walk around and see nothing but
empty faces, empty hearts.

I know it not all you people's faults
cuz when you live in such an
uninspiring place i'd expect you
to be dull and average;
"We work all week and then we
drink all night and we get by"
but it don't mean that I
still can't be frustrated.

The Second Passage

2008-02-01T06:46:00.000-08:00

He decided to walk back into town. After the fire stopped reining, he just sat there for a bit, taking everything in. He wasn't upset, not yet anyway, just peaceful. He could have walked back out into the country, but the thought of mere countryside didn't appeal to him. Not yet anyway.

So he walked and walked back to where he came. A slightly different way, but more or less the same. The sky was still on fire, and burned a mighty orange, with streaks of a blackened grey stretching long across the skyline. So were some of the bigger buildings in the distance, in town. That big square castle on top of the only hill, which he always accused of as being really "dull for a castle" was on fire. So was the big clock tower, he could see that. The Roman Catholic cathedral seemed ok though.

The streets were pretty much deserted. He walked down one of the main streets, the same one he had started on a couple hours ago. There still seemed to be a lot of noise and chaos for a street that had just been apparently obliterated. Car engines were still running, the chip shop still had a pungent smell, and a lot of distressed birds flew about the place, trading one building for another. He looked ahead and saw that there had been quite a pile up of cars outside the street's shops. at least 5 or 6 cars had tangled together in a knot in the middle of the road, with some blood and parts strewn across the scene; one of the cars was even on fire. He couldn't see any bodies though.

He decided, like the birds, this street was a bit too distressing and turned left at the next corner on a uphill residential street. He lived in a similar area to this. Not very far away from this one actually, one of those more eccentric suburbia's just outside the city centre rather that more out towards the country side. These were mostly built up of those Georgian to Victorian era houses that were bunched together in large clusters and were originally built as quick as possible in order to maintain the industrial revolution. It was pretty amazing they still stood as strong as ever, given people couldn't even build new houses that stand longer than a year any more. He thought about all the families and history that still live on in these houses; none were particularly important individuals but as a force were apart of one our most defining eras; funny how now all that was left to show for this heritage was multiple amounts of students, just as overcrowded as those families were all those years ago.

It was a lot more peaceful now, even that eerie tension in the air and in the wind seemed to have dropped. He imagined it like any other sunny winter's afternoon. He walked up and over the hill of the street, and back down it again. Walked and walked. He looked in the windows of the abandoned houses. He imagined people there. People living their normal lives. Maybe they weren't so selfish after all. He imagined seeing a kid, only a few years younger that himself, riding a bike delivering papers to all the different houses that looked the same.

He turned left onto a much bigger street. Still just houses, but the road was wider and there were large skeleton like trees up ahead. He walked past a large funeral services shopped. "Heh" was all he could say, and he was getting mighty sick of using that laugh about everything. Beyond the large building, there was a long alleyway. "Strange," he thought "I've never known these to be here before.". The alleyway stretched out far; must have run parallel with the road, and had tall, old fashioned black street lamps with what looked like lanterns at the top of each. The road was brick paved, was neither too narrow or wide and the walls were made of garden fences and garages. He felt compelled to walk it.

So with a turn, he walked right down the middle of the brick alleyway, studying the graffiti on the garages and the fences as he walked. It looked even more deserted here, the sun shone from the low right, starting to fall off the face of the earth for the night. A cold wind bled from the West, blowing his scarf and hair. The alleyway, with it's old fashioned street lamps reminded him of old footage from World War II Germany; people hiding in their houses while soldiers marched through the back alleys. School wasn't that far in the past after all. It looked like a bomb and fell on the place. This was no longer heartland England in the 21st century.

There was a right turn at the end of the long alleyway. This was only short, but it lead to a road, and directly opposite, the alley way continued. However, there was a large white van blocking the next alleyway. So, instead, he took a detour down a road which he guessed ran parallel with the alleyway too. He quickly found another entrance to the alley and headed straight into it. This one was similar to the last, except this time trees creeped over the fences and the garages; the sun hid behind them. He stood there for a second, until he thought he could hear laughter. He wasn't sure if it was the wind or his mind playing tricks, but, no, really, he could hear laughter. Child's laughter at that.

He craned his neck to the left, to the end of the alleyway where the van had sat. He still saw the back of the van, but just behind it, he could see children playing. Children, about 4 of them, 2 girls, 2 boys, playing with a ball, and laughing. Ghosts. He decided they must be ghosts. No one survived such a brutal punishment. No one except him.

He began to turn, and was about to start walking in the opposite direction, when he saw white flakes, falling from the sky. Snow... "Odd" he thought, it sure didn't seem cold enough to be snowing. He looked upwards; not a cloud in the sky. Just a sun sitting on the edge of the oblivion and a sky getting darker by the minute. And it still the "snow" fell. Heavier by the minute. Then he realised. This wasn't snow, impossible. This was ash. This was the remnants of the buildings and the people that once lived here.

He preferred imagining it was snow. Snow from his childhood. Snow from better times. There was nothing more peaceful than snow. He continued walking, down the darkened alleyways. He was about to reach the end when, he spotted something to his right. A cat, sitting on top of one of the rows of garages. This was no ghost. This was the real thing. It was an orange/grey fluffy thing which started back at him with cold, uncompromising, yellow eyes. This was a cat of experience, he'd seen what had taken place today, and wasn't that surprised by it. He stopped in front of the cat and they looked at each other for a while. He tried moving towards the cat, but it didn't budge, just followed him with his staring eyes. When he offered a hand, the cat still refused. After a moment he sighed and gave up and walked away, walked to the end of the alley and back onto the road. He was now where the tall trees where that he'd seen before; he had done 3 parts of a full square, it would seem.

He began walking towards the sinking sun, it was practically night now. Walked in the shadow of these huge trees, hundreds of years old and wise. Then, suddenly, he stopped. Nothing happened for a moment, he just froze. And then, started crying. There was a flood of feelings and emotions about everything that had just happened. The honeymoon period was over, this had been fully realised.

"I've got to get out of here" he sobbed.

rants etc

2008-01-29T15:17:00.000-08:00

What I hate about living in Heartland England is how there's no real culture or opportunities to do anything. I read about all these artists and musicians in America who just got out, travelled, made something for themselves and didn't rely on everything that was handed to them. Here it seems like if you anything other than school, uni and work then you're totally crazy. Give me culture, some inspiration, some sights to keep me in awe.

basically, I wanna travel and make some music about it.

what the actual fuck...

2008-01-20T18:28:00.000-08:00

my old band, maths, has some hardcore fans, apparently;

to do list...

2008-01-20T09:24:00.000-08:00

preferably before I go north on thursday;

write:
British Sea Power - Do You Like Rock Music? review
Don't Look Back series; Godspeed You! Black Emperor! - f# a# oo
Explosions in the Sky - The Truth
Interpol - Antics
Fucked Up - Hidden World

send:
proof of results to leeds met.
more...

And then when I get back;
Spy Versus Spy review for NARC Magazine
British Sea Power interview (maybe)

Short Stories

2008-01-17T09:19:00.000-08:00

Introduction: I read something recently about how Set Fire to Flames (Godspeed's second incarnation) recorded their first album in the most tense of situations; they shut themselves off from the world with little food and light for about a week until they had a record.

This is essentially how I feel right now. Thus, please excuse any mistakes. Also, I don't hate people this much. Really.

He walks into town without much intention other than to get out of the house. He puts some music on his ipod to set the mood; a winter sunset and he's shutting himself off from the world as he often does every few days, just watching things go by as he walks. The music isn't depressing but it's hardly the most upbeat thing ever either. He doesn't really do depression any more. There have been times in the past when he's been very low, either because of other people or because he can't keep a lid on his, at times explosive mind. He'd think about the worst things he could think about for no real reason; death, people hating him, people hating each other, stuff like that. But since he met her depression was kinda replaced by a more 'hopeful awareness', as he put it.

He walked slowly, emphasising his lack of need to be anywhere in particular, his neck turned to the left as the sun shone on its final crusade of the day, glowing pinks, yellows, blues. As he turned his neck to the right, the sky was a dull blue/grey and darkening by the second, while he walked. Constantly walked.

His mind wondered a bit. The other day he accidentally broke a chair at some girls house. When she said he'll have to pay, he said "life's a bit short for such meaningless material worth don't you think?" he thought he said it, anyway. He walked past the great Roman Catholic cathedral and over the bridge. In this light, looking at all the houses in the distance, he could have mistaken it for a place with some real scale and character, but then he just reminded himself he was at home and thought better of it. His "home town-spirit" had died some time ago, but always found it ironic when he caught himself caring about the local football team; if home is where the heart is, his must be somewhere pretty far north of here.

He listened to the music again, it was a song he'd developed quite a lot of emotional attachment to over the time he'd been going on walks like this; it just always seem to catch the mood just right. He looked around walking down the hill, in the town proper now, and saw mostly people rushing to and fro, just getting out of work, buying all the luxuries they can afford but still take for granted. Some people sat on the floor, helping each other, trying to stay warm and mostly being ignored by the people who walked by. They didn't see him watching. One thing he could say about this town was; they weren't guilty of expecting too much like people in the big cities. These people never got too much and in turn too much couldn't be taken away from them; they just accepted what they had and got on with it. Even if it did mean that sometimes they forgot what was important.

He often rambled in his own head like this but, at least it was keeping from things that just made him upset. Now he looked up at the big clock tower, as he turned and was now walking parallel with it. Quarter to Five. Above it the sky had become violent. It moved at an incredible pace, with a bloodthirsty aura. It was grey moving against the static blue, just like some of the people in the street. In the distance, the sun's pale colours shone but were fading fast. He figured that was like some of the people who weren't walking in the street. No one else though seemed terribly interested in what the sky was doing; only their own respective paths and accomplices.

He continued to walk down the long street, head tilted upwards at the sky, unaware of the jeers people gave him as they walked past, he still had his ears in, until he found himself indoors. He was now walking through a large spacey building, one of those vile places where people could buy more or less the same thing in different colours all under one roof. More annoying was that the building's owners insisted on having all the heating on. He didn't like this, it was too fucking warm. This isn't what winter is about. He was starting to sweat has he descended down the escalator, letting it carry him, as he watched multiple layers of people rushing from hole in the wall to hole in the wall. People and their attitudes had ruined this building. It occurred to him how unnoticed buildings go and how fragile they are, as they depend on others to survive; much like the surroundings and the people sitting out in the street. He reached the ground and walked straight ahead, a bit more urgency than before. He noticed how in the space of a few minutes he had seen various people in and around this building that used to play vague and meaningless parts in his life; school and college mostly, and with disdain, conceded not for the first time, that not much had changed with these people. Suddenly, he felt overwhelmed; he had to get out. The doors back outside were still on the far side of the building, and he began to panic. The music in his ears increased in a tense pace as he increased his pace and thought about the clouds that had moved at frenetic pace outside a few minutes ago, dodging and ignoring all the people in his way. Some he knew, some he didn't, but he did feel he recognised all of them. He headed to the now reachable door, past all the various shops and people, and took almost a little skip as he got there. He burst through the large heavy glass doors and out into the street. Sanctuary!

He actually felt like crying that, but thought better of it if he was going to dispel his current reputation in the street as "a bit of weirdo". Still, he was outside again and there were people but they no longer mattered to him. Unlike before this street had a road running through it, and because of the time of day, buses and cars ripped through it, trying to get to their destinations frantically. That was fine. What was important was that he was outside.

After a moment of standing there in the middle of the street, just in front of the large glass building he'd been in which slotted between a long building with white walls, and a standard brick red building, with the words "Shopping Mall" printed in large thin letters above the many various doors. His natural reaction, for what reason he didn't know, was to turn left, back into town, and he started to walk until he craned his neck in the other direction and saw the gorgeous sun set that was happening. And with that glance, he instantly turned and walked straight towards the light. The sun had won the fleeting battle of the West, for now.

He walked and walked and walked. Walked back towards peace, and the light. There were trees and a few buildings that stood like dark, shadow-like figurines in front of the sun, but they soon ran out until there was almost nothing. Nothing but hills and trees and fields and in the distance, some animals; cows they looked like from here. He walked up a large rolling hill, although any would have done, they were all essentially the same. He sat himself down at the top and looked at the skyline presented in front of him. The music reached it's hopeful climax, and he felt at peace again, looking at all the trees and houses and hills and cows, the whole time the sun fell, fell, fell.

He turned and looked back at the city. The dark clouds he had seen before but no one else had, were gathered over it. It began it's downpour. First, rain, then wind and even some lightning, but then something else. Surely not? He thought he could see fire. Fire raining down on the town. The town he grew up in all his life, more or less by himself, without much guidance from any parental figures, and of which he eventually learned to be sick of, was on fire.

He watched it burn, and knew there wasn't much he could do about it, wasn't really sure if he wanted to do much about it. He was shocked, and slightly scared, but also weirdly pleased (or delirious), like he'd been proven right about something. "I guess this is where the story starts" he said with a wry smile.

my ideal band (right now)...

2008-01-13T16:24:00.000-08:00

would blend the energy and sound of trail of dead and at the drive-in with the passionate heart on sleeve emo of Meneguar and Spy Versus Spy with the grandiose of Arcade Fire and Explosions in the Sky, atmosphere of Joy Division and the National and the song-writing and general cool of The Smiths and Interpol.

Wish I was a songwriter. can anyone help?

Death; what's in it for me? (Work in Progress)

2008-01-06T16:50:00.000-08:00

This is partly inspired by the short stories featured in Vice Magazine this month (some of which are amazing; all are at least interesting) and outlines my greatest fear.

Since a very early age I was bothered about Death. But as I was pretty young and still learning, my mind would switch on and off subjects all the time. As a result, after a couple days of really worrying about it, I more or less forgot about this fear for a good few years. I went through that treasured but classic feeling of Immortality when I hit 17. One night, out of absolutely nowhere (given I had been to the most exciting and treasured gig of my life the week before, I was pretty high at the time) I was lying in bed when suddenly my stream of thoughts switched to Death. I dunno why, I dunno how, but what I do know is; the thought scared me. Scared me practically to death even. That hopeless thought that; "Hang on, one day this is all gonna be gone and i'll never be able to return to it for all of eternity" (just writing it then didn't leave me completely untouched). This for use of better terms, completely fucked me up. I panicked, I screamed, I cried, I ran to my parents for support, but really there's only so much support you can give on this subject. This repeated more or less everyday for a whole month or so, and I felt very low. I couldn't help but return to the point that; "Well, what's really the point? If all this is gonna be taken away from me anyway."

I envy people that see death as nessecary and are not bothered by it. Some of these people also have faith and that's great too. I wish I could believe in an afterlife, I really do, if I could then there would be no blog here and you and I could return to normal. But the fact is, me personally, I can't see it. I can't see a logical reason behind it; and unless I go into complete emotional breakdown and stop being the slightly obsessive, logical nerd I've blossomed into these past couple years I don't really see that changing. That's a shame, but I have accepted it.

What I haven't accepted yet however though, is coping with the idea that I'm going to die and that it will all end forever. I mean, it's less frequent now but it's still pretty often that after a long day I'll lay in bed by myself in the dark and the topic (and at times, the fear and the anxiety) will creep into my view. It's led for a subject and a whole idea that I've battled with a lot ever since; a lot of my lyrics and scribbles now a days are to do with the subject and my fear of it. What I do find odd however is how strictly personal and even biased the whole matter is. I mean, when people bring death up in conversation I generally am not any more bothered by it that anything else.

Indeed, last month a friend of mine died in a road accident just before Christmas, and although it was deeply upsetting and a total waste, it didn't instantly make me regress into some ball of fear and anxiety; it is almost like that has a life of its own which I try my best to keep the lid on but can't always hold. And recently I've noticed certain themes I never did before, like how some people say my favourite film (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) is depressing. I never saw this until the last time I saw it (with my girlfriend a month or so ago) and I kinda realised while watching the two year span of this characters life that, the sadness comes from how it highlights the utter inevitabilities of life. We are all destined to grow up as a lonely child, to fall in love, be torn apart, and eventually die.

I don't want to leave all my treasured possessions, be they material, or people (pretty much just my parents or my girlfriend) or memories or places, or is that just the 19 year old in me speaking?

2008 (and that)

2008-01-06T16:35:00.000-08:00

it seems people actually read this thing. Oh noes.

right well, it's nearly been a week, so HAPPY NEW YEAR and that. I had an amazing time partying in glasgow with my girlfriend and her family (including her cousin who managed to party so hard he got laryngitis.)

the last CD I bought in 2007 was: Source Tags and codes - Trail of Dead.

so far in 2008 i've already picked up:
Fucked Up Compilation tape 1
My Bloody Valentine - Loveless
The Velvet Underground & Nico - The Velvet Underground
Kings of Leon - Because of the Times
Panda Bear - Person Pitch
And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead - Madonna

also, Monthy Phython series 1 and 3 on DVD.

It's wierd having all this money to spend, but I guess thats the cush of living at home and working. The Theatre is fun but Panto is STRESS

gigs coming up;
British Sea Power in glasgow (maybe)
Explosions in the Sky - Glasgow Barras
The Futureheads in Norwich (maybe)
Baroness in Sheffield
Les Savy Fav in Bedford
Dillinger & Between the Buried and Me in Newcastle
FUCKED UP (and gallows) in Newcastle (and maybe Leeds)
Jimmy Eat World in Newcastle (maybe)
Radiohead in Glasgow
My Bloody Valentine in Glasgow

blah blah blah

Song of the day (December 27th)

2007-12-27T04:08:00.000-08:00

...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead - Mistakes and Regrets

not much to say other than it's HUGE.

2007 - top 21 songs.

2007-12-25T16:05:00.000-08:00

1.Explosions in the Sky - The Birth and Death of the Day
This song's parent album may have struggled to make an impression with some, and had varying levels of success according to others, BUT, I'm not going to forget the moment I first heard this song. To be honest, that was in December 2006; I couldn't wait any longer. But coupled with beautiful artwork and an enjoyable if troubled record (part of the problem was that this was it's opening track, I mean, how do you follow THAT up?) this song by far made the biggest impact on me. It hit home when I first got it on my ipod, went for a jog, and felt utter euphoria at what I was listening to.

2.LCD Soundsystem - All My Friends
However, if there was a song to sum up the year, this would probably be it. Not for me as such, but just for everything. Whereas that explosions (literally) track is completely over the top, this, managed to sum up and pinpoint basically everything that was going on in 2007 without even really trying. A hugely heartfelt and moving song, but also with the capacity to dance or rock out; that's pretty impressive. A fellow blogger said last week that this song will become/is this generation's anthem to match 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'. Time will tell about wether it really had that much impact, but without the commercial backing I'm a doubter. Still, they had a very good point.

3.The National - Fake Empire
Really, I could of picked any song off this record. This wins however because it was there first. It was with this song that I began my love of this band and it went on to be my "most listened to of the year" according to Last FM. and why not? everything about it is perfect, the piano's the vocals, the lyrics, the brass, the anti-climatic end. A truly wonderful opener to a great, great album.

4.Fucked Up - Year of the Pig (Link is to 'Crusades')
I'm not gonna lie, this isn't my favourite Fucked Up song by a long way. But, it is the only major single from 2007, and, it is a pretty good summarisation of what makes this band so mind-bogglingly amazing. 18 minutes, hardcore punk, meets psychedelia, meets post rock, with bongos, and keys, and, like everything by this band, has amazing production and vocals. One word; EPIC.

5.Interpol - Pioneer to the Falls
Similar to explosions, this is a HUGE, dazzling opener to an otherwise slightly inconsistent album. Also similar to explosions, this is as genuinely heartfelt and honest the 'pol got this year; if a little over the top. But hey, dramatics can made for really enjoyable listening, and the sing a-longs that went along with this tour for 'And you know I triiied, I flyyyy, straight into your heart" with all the yearning in Paul Banks voice; is something that can rival the arcade fire live experience no problem.

6.Battles - Atlas
Every publication every has already written everything there is to say about this song. So I'll just say how I feel, this song is completely made by it's second half when it breaks/strips down, then builds up, and up, and up, and up, until it literally reaches melting point and explodes with insanely tight tension, all thanks to a one John Stainer, beating a way on skins.

7.Les Savy Fav - The Equestrian
This song ROCKS. there's no other way of describing it. It is punk rock, rock n roll and indie rock rolled into one (try saying that after a few of yr mulled wines) with a fantastic riff to kick it off, driving rhythm section and of course, Tim Harrington proving he is still very much the king.

8.Los Campesinos! - You! Me! Dancing!
This song (along with Justice) basically was my summer. It is completely MASSIVE and a pop song, what more can you want?

9.Okkervil River - Our Life is Not a Movie or Maybe
There's something very enchanting and charming about this band, (and Will Sheff particuarly) and this song embodies that perfectly.

10.Animal Collective - Fireworks
The last song i'm gonna write about, this is an utterly gorgeous song, and has pretty much been my song of the winter. Animal Collective take their highly successful and very innovative style of making music, and throw some wonderfully heartfelt melodies at it. It is an amazing performance from all involved and a truly beautiful song.

11.The Arcade Fire - (Antichrist Television Blues)
12.Justice - D.A.N.C.E
13.Feist - 1234
14.Bloc Party - I Still Remember
15.M.I.A - Paper Planes
16.St. Vincent - Now, Now
17.Pig Destroyer - Loathsome
18.El-P - Smithereens
19.Deerhunter - Cryptograms
20.The Dillinger Escape Plan - Milk Lizard
21.I Was a Cub Scout - Our Smallest Adventures

2007; a year in music

2007-12-25T15:35:00.000-08:00

After covering the best albums of the year here and songs here I thought it was time to talk about the rest. Songs, Bands, Shows, Moments. look no further. I must say it's been a pretty huge year for me as far as music is concerned. It saw me go from a hardcore/screamo enthusiast to a mild mannered American Indie fan. Let alone the fact that I was in a reasonably successful band myself and toured over the summer.

first off, fundamentals. According to Last FM, my 2007 looked like this:

1 The National 501
2 Sonic Youth 423
3 Explosions in the Sky 406
4 Interpol 403
5 Orchid 400
6 Poison the Well 373
7 Jimmy Eat World 342
8 Converge 317
9 Radiohead 279
10 Fucked Up 236

Interesting top 2 as I only really got majorly into them this year. Explosions, Interpol and Converge roll on from the previous year, had a huge Orchid phase in Spring. Poison the Well and Radiohead had revivals, I discovered Jimmy Eat World's 'clarity' and Fucked Up joined in the fun from the Summer and pretty much completed hardcore punk for me.

Gigs:

General:

Biffy Clyro - Norwich, UEA
Explosions in the Sky - London Koko
Alexisonfire - London Astoria
Deftones - Norwich, UEA
Poison the Well - Colchester Arts Centre
Rise Against - Norwich, UEA
Klaxons - Norwich, UEA
Devil Sold His Soul - Norwich, B2
Hot Cross - London, Barfly
Glassjaw - London, Brixton Academy
Converge - London, Electric Ballroom
Converge - London, Kingston Peel
Fucked Up - Tales of the Jackalope
Slint - Performing Spiderland - Glasgow, ABC
Sonic Youth - Performing Daydream Nation - London, Roundhouse
Broken Social Scene Presents... Kevin Drew - London, Scala
Rolo Tomassi - London Notting Hill Arts Club
Los Campesinos! - Norwich, Arts Centre
Deerhunter - Glasgow, ABC2
Interpol - London, Alexander Palace
Interpol - Newcastle, Carling Academy
M.I.A - Norwich, Waterfront
Cloak/Dagger - Norwich, Cricketers Rest

Festivals:

Latitude;
The Arcade Fire
The National
Wilco
Final Fantasy
Cold War Kids

Fluff Fest;
Converge
These Arms Are Snakes
Kaospilot
La Quiete

Leeds Festival;
Jimmy Eat World
Brand New
Interpol
Gallows
Foals
Battles
Smashing Pumpkins
Nine Inch Nails
Bloc Party
I Was a Cub Scout
The Legacy!
We Are Scientists
Sparta

Moments:
*Deftones not only play my crappy home town, but play their cover of The Cure's 'If Only Tonight We Could Sleep' the world rejoices.

*Seeing Poison the Well give one of the most insanely passionate and tight (and varied) sets ever.

*Devil Sold His Soul (the first time) because the sound and low-key, strobed lighting was absolutely perfect

*Waiting 5 hours for Fucked Up to play at Vice's Tales of the Jackalope, they play two hours late at 2am, and get pulled after 4 songs, they were about to play 'Crusades'. For those 4 songs though, it was utter fucking anarchy.

*Slint play 'Washer'

*Finally seeing a version of Broken Social Scene play a sloppy but still memorable version of Cause = Time. part of the fun was them remembering how to play it on stage.

*Seeing Rolo Tomassi for the first time. Ya, I know I'm kinda biased now a days cuz we're toured and they're my friends, but the first time I saw them, I didn't know them yet, and they (Eva particularly) completely blew me away.

*Seeing Deerhunter destroy in Glasgow.

*Seeing Interpol make up for a string of misfortunes and rubbish experiences in Newcastle.

*The Above includes FINALLY SEEING 'PDA' AFTER A YEAR OF WAITING. It nearly makes me cry.

Festivals:
*Arcade Fire finishing Latitude.
*The National being the best band ever ever.
*Wilco, also.
*Converge, making up for a string of misfortunes and rubbish experiences in Prague.
*These Arms Are Snakes being amazing despite no one else really getting it.
*Jimmy Eat World plays 'Clarity' at Leeds.
*Brand New plays 'Sic Transit Gloria' in leeds; tent goes mental.
*Smashing Pumpkins play a set with mixed results in Leeds but completely nail 'Tonight, Tonight'.
*Nine Inch Nails do similar but with 'Hurt'. I cried. Missed LCD Soundsystem.

Dissapointments:
*The façade that led to me getting to see Explosions in the Sky which ruined it for me, then cancelling a headline slot on a small stage at Latiude.
*Glassjaw, a bit.
*MISSING CONVERGE PLAY JANE DOE
*Slint being generally flaccid despite preforming a masterpiece.
*Sonic Youth, a bit. Made up for it by having breakfast with them at the Camden Holiday Inn the day after though.
*Bloc Party at Leeds, a bit.

and finally, songs and albums that made my 2007 but weren't released in 2007.

1.Fucked Up.
This band did, to be honest, completely changed my year. They are, as far as I'm concerned, the missing link. I've grown up in the last few years of my life listening to lots of really good hardcore punk records, but none of them (with the possibly exception of Give Up The Ghost) ever gave me the sense of satisfaction or competitiveness. The thing is, is that, Fucked Up pretty much completed everything I always wanted from Hardcore but never got. They're one of the first bands to truly push the bar up and up and up and so far, thanks to their intellect and integrity, have yet to mess that up. It is still straight up Hardcore Punk, BUT, there's an indie rock sensibility about it, and hey, they've thrown in some psychedelic influences in there too which make the songs really massive, and hey, there's even a touch of Classical in the arrangements (thanks to the ever talented Mr. Owen Pallet) . Pop Melodies, Religious themes, Political awareness, apocalyptic dream-worlds, AMAZING ARTWORK, and a consistent sense of accomplishment. Really, this band HAVE got it all.

Fucked Up - Crusades

2.Jimmy Eat World - Clarity
I often got told how good this record was by some friends and some publications, but never really saw it myself. Then I did see it myself; live at Leeds Festival, with my beautiful girlfriend, and suddenly all the magic came screaming in. Suddenly, I was hearing that album literally come alive and I heard all the romance that was intended in this deeply passionate and intense record. It is, without a doubt, one of the most truly 'romantic' records I've ever listened to and is as much a celebration of life and love as it is a record about heartbreak and love loss. Plus, every song is brilliantly written and beautifully executed thanks to some truly wonderful and enchanting melodies, string sections and general production of the record.

Jimmy Eat World - Table for Glasses

3.Explosions in the Sky - The Moon is Down
At some point during the year, this became one of my favourite songs of all time. I'm not sure what it was in the first place that made me pick out this song in particular, because I consider the whole record an incredibly solid and magical piece, but I guess it was just from repeated listening. The thing is, this song has got basically every emotion I could possibly want from listening to music pegged within it (without even having any lyrics). It starts off in a world where the Moon really does seem to be shining down and everything sounds rather mystical and enchanting. Then they're an eerie chord change, and the song literally progresses through like that, until it's uber-tense but ultimately beautiful climax, with one guitar pretty much keeping it moving, and the other two guitars and drums contributing when appropriate. It is the ultimate song to go walking around on a quiet night, as it manages to be relaxing, yet chilling, yet exciting all at once. Truly, this is the band's finest hour (or 10 minutes).

Explosions in the Sky - The Moon is Down

Christmas was mental. this is me out for a few days, happy new year! xo

poetry and that

2007-12-23T15:25:00.000-08:00

literature:

//got too drunk today... sat around waiting for gold/no one dares say anything/this is a home and a breeding ground/for attention seekers everywhere/not an a.a meeting...(and i'm no better)/self-obsessed; everyone hates me now/self-obsessed; I hate everyone now.these words won't mean much to you/they're too personal/we're too biased.//no one ever understands; no one ever wants to understand/ How can I expect you to understand? you can't even see me. The time someone truly asks 'how are you' is the time you find love, time you find peace.///I went walking again, I went listening again, I went thinking again/ again and again and again. A little message, to kids who will learn this poem/in school/ a joke, a joke, a joke. Dunno how to say words, can't even play guitar/ can't even keep the people happy/that were supposed to get me far. They're all gone now/ it's just me and me and me. Doomed to over-think everything/to be scared of dying. Sometimes I hate myself and I mean it/no one really means it. Sometimes I hate myself and I mean it/no one really believes it. Not happy, never happy, sometimes happy. I'm called grumpy at home. Please don't take me too seriously, I'll be gone soon anyway. I go round and round in circles I get some criticism along the way. I always ruin everything (for myself) I see the inevitabilities/ I go on living, or maybe

Maybe I'm just tired.

Cloak/Dagger - Norwich Cricketers Rest - 21.12.07

2007-12-22T04:41:00.000-08:00

Proving I do have a life...

It's been a long while since there was a decent Hardcore show in Norwich. We've never recovered after basically losing all our venues here and here (it's worth noting the second one still exists but it is now plus 18 and with a strict sound limiter that cuts any kind of sound out, making it useless). So it was with great relief that this year's Christmas show at the cricketers (last year's was with Gallows literally just as they exploded; flyer.

So it was with great excitement to learn that Cloak/Dagger's European tour with Life Long Tragedy would be coming here in support of their excellent debut album We Are.

And they certainly do not disappoint. Despite not great sound levels and the majority of the crowd there for the other "Breakdown-y" bands, Claok/Dagger still rip through their set with terrifying velocity and is a set or brutal, honest, REAL hardcore punk. Included fantastic versions of Runways, Kamikazes and New Years Resolution. This band have had a great year and show massive potential for the future, and I can't wait to see what they do next.

Cloak/Dagger - Hollywood Hills
Cloak/Dagger - Runways

Photos by Alfie Adams; www.fugitivesolutions.co.uk

top 10 albums of 2007.

2007-12-22T04:16:00.000-08:00

So this is it, the top 10 albums of 2007!

1.The National - Boxer

This band (along with Fucked Up) completely shook me up and made my 2007. I hadn't even heard of this band before this, their 4th album, but I remember the first time I saw the album artwork that there was a certain style to it I found really attractive. And my gosh, did they follow it up. The simple fact is, this album is just packed full of amazing songs, and everything about them is romantic, stylish and heartfelt. After an incredible Latitude Festival performance, this band went on to make my year with catchy, beautifully produced songs that just work. From the awe-inspiring opener of 'Fake Empire' to the creepy post-punk of 'Brainy' and the all out poppyness of 'Apartment Story' this album has kept me singing and loving all year. Truly fantastic piece of work.
The National - Fake Empire

2.Battles - Mirrored

Battles get their position just for being the biggest and most original innovators of the year. Bringing together the sounds of punk, jazz and dance music, playing a myriad of various instruments (sometimes more than one at the same time) and just creating a fantastic listening experience that is fun to play, dance to, or just listen while also being challenging and exciting. The moments that make this album special are those in say, 'Atlas' or 'Tonto' where the song builds up, breaks down and builds up again, which, thank's to Helmet's John Stanier's incredibly tight, poly-rhythmic beats, create an amazing but enjoyable tension to their sound.
Battles - Atlas

3.The Arcade Fire - Neon Bible

With the blogging revolution well into its stride in 2007, it is quite plausible that there is a lot of tripe you have to get through to find some genuinely talented or passionate writing. Particularly at this time of year, where everyone, like yours truly, is making a list. I recently read someone in regards to Panda Bear, in an attempt to dismiss Beach Boys comparisons, saying that "Brian Wilson wishes he made something as original and important as Panda Bear" ... yeah, other than pretty much creating pop music and indie in it's earliest form... Another guy went on about how Neon Bible could never beat Funeral. For a while, when this record first came out, I agreed with him. I wasn't hearing the massive passionate grandeur of 'Funeral' and thus I dismissed this record. Then I saw it live. Suddenly, it all made sense. I realised I was naive to be listening out for another Funeral, when this (arguably the only complete album of the whole list) is a huge journey through 12 songs commenting on, well, pretty much everything and the whole world according to Win Butler. The reason this beats Funeral, is purely because, its bigger, better and more complete. Although about 6/7 songs off 'Funeral' are still among my favourite of all time, that album, is just songs and that's it. In this record, it's very difficult to take a song out of context because each song bleeds into the next seamlessly, and that's where this album gets its magic.
The Arcade Fire - (Antichrist Television Blues)

4.Les Savy Fav - Let's Stay Friends

It's been quite a year for Les Savy Fav. In the years that passed since 'Inches' they slowly built a reputation that got a lot more people listening and interested then when they were originally around. I'm not gonna lie, I was one of those people. So there was a wierd amount of pressure settling on this record, because LSF had both their hugely loyal original fanbase and a whole new one to please. In the end, the new fans got something really exciting and approachable and the old hardcore twitched for a bit, then got over it, and enjoyed it too. These are, simply put, just brilliantly written and performed songs that really give off a feel for the amazing live act they are renowned for.
Les Savy Fav - The Equestrian

5.LCD Soundsystem - Sound of Silver

There's not much I have to say about this record. It's been done. This has had every publication in the land (both sides of the atlantic) falling over themselves, and quite rightly too. James Murphy grew up here and proved himself with heart and soul, and most noticeable, the jaw-dropping song of the year All My Friends.
LCD Soundsystem - All My Friends

6.Radiohead - In Rainbows

Similar to the above, there's not much I have to say because this was, THE most talked about album of the year. Radiohead went ahead and made their most instant and approachable record for nearly a decade, still proving why they are now "as much listened to as The Beatles".
Radiohead - Nude

7.Interpol - Our Love to Admire

Like Arcade Fire (and Explosions in the Sky), this was under huge pressure not to drop out of the list entirely and be a huge dissapointment. When this first came out, I didn't see why I should care. The National had just released an absolutely awe-inspiring record that took what I loved about Interpol originally and kept it fresh and exciting. But, with time, the songs off this record slowly but surely weeded their way into my skull (much like Antics did, which I now consider an all time favourite). I still believe it's my favourite band's weakest effort, there are a good 3 or 4 tracks of filler here, but Interpol subtly prove again why they are so hugely popular in an alternative context once again.
Interpol - Pioneer to the Falls

8.Deerhunter - Cryptograms

This took a while to really make an impact, but when I saw this band live in Glasgow, I totally got it. A wonderful combination of psychedelic pop rock and punk that make this dreamy, poppy and at times frightening record a real triumph. Here's hoping they can follow it up next year.
Deerhunter - Cryptograms

9.Animal Collective - Strawberry Jam

Animal Collective goes POP! A wonderful record that saw the hugely popular but hugely challenging Animal Collective finally incorporate pop melodies into their already enchanting and highly original sound and way of writing. Just listen to 'Peacebone' or the utterly beautiful 'Fireworks' for proof.
Animal Collective - Fireworks

10.Okkervil River - The Stage Names

Proving it's never too late to make it into an end of year list, it took a long, long time for me to get this. The first couple times I heard it, I thought it as 'Our Life is not a Movie or maybe' plus eight. Then a couple weeks ago I got home from a stressful night's work, put this on, and totally got it. It's been said before and I'm sure it'll be said again, but Will Sheff is an incredible talent as a singer, lyricist and songwriter. Fantastic record.
Okkervil River - Our Life is not a Movie or maybe

if any of these don't work just let me know!

2007: overview

2007-12-21T20:11:00.000-08:00

i think it's late/cold/drunk enough to do this now. not that anyone will read it. Suffice to say that I have emerged a very different person from the one that went into the year.

January - Move into new house in the city centre. Have huge party which Maths play its first show at but also nearly get me and my parents chucked out of before we've really moved in. Don't. Worth It. Still hung up on a total bitch which is ongoing from the previous summer.

February - Meet a new girl (J) while still with old one. Self-esteem not great. Sleep with old girl (C) for first time, after a hugely emotional discussion and what the fuck is going on. Her mum finds out, isn't pleased. I go on holiday next morning. Don't sleep. Decide while on Holiday I'm much better off with C and maybe I should see how things go with J. In retrospect. It probably would have been a bit more considerate of me to give it some more time before moving on. But the bitch nearly completely wrecked my life and it was a huge relief to be out. Maths play first 'proper' gig in lowestoft. Get beaten up by certain tough guys from St.Albans who recently went on tour with Enter Shikari. Record a two track demo by the end of the month. all is well.

March - See J for a bit. pleasant for a while but ultimately doesn't go anywhere/work out. I meet another new girl (F) whom I have an annoying crush on but she has a boyfriend and seems happy. I respect that. See Poison the Well in Colchester. IT SNOWS ON THE WAY HOME. Play some more shows.

April - F breaks up with her boyfriend, I let her know how I feel, she isn't interested. Maths play more shows, write new songs.

May (Huge) - After saying she wasn't bothered. F, after walking her home on a night out, reveals she does like me too but still feels kinda bad for it. We talk for a good couple hours, she says she wants to kiss me. Does. for a few moments bliss. Then, she decides that actually no, this isn't going to work and she doesn't want it. I'm crushed. Don't sleep again. A few days later, I play my first shit show with Maths. this is a key turning point. It's a weird night because I'm frustrated at how badly it went, but also at how, a friend of mine while very drunk called these girls some horrible names we have as an in-joke, then blames it on me, but the situation is too funny for me to care about taking any kind of blame and I just laugh.
This utter mess of a few days makes me to decide to hop on a train to Newcastle and see this girl I've talked to online for nearly 2 years. It is an utterly insane moment and I have a ridiculous journey getting there; stranded for 2 hours in Peterborough, on a Sunday, pissing down with rain, people getting crushed on platforms, all because some deer ran into a tunnel and fucked everything up. As a result, I get to Newcastle two hours later then planned and only see Biffy Clyro's encore. Still a bit confused as to what the hell I'm doing there, the first night is a tiny bit awkward, as I meet the people I would get to know so well. Who knew that the risk I took would end up being the happiest risk of my life.

June - I return home and pretty much don't leave it for a couple weeks, despite some good shows and parties to go to. Don't see the point. I get into Fucked Up and they pretty much end all other Hardcore Punk for me. They are the quintessential. Otherwise, my music tastes take a huge leap towards the happy and more upbeat. Maths record EP. it is one of the most stressful weeks of my life. by the 3rd or 4th day I wasn't having much fun anymore and I first discover how much Matt (our guitarist and songwriter) can annoy me. This ends up being deadly. It is here where I began to stop really liking our Music. The production was rubbish and I didn't enjoy recording it. Jen visits me in Norwich for the first time straight after and, although we don't have a lot to do, it's still great. Finish College.

July - Festivals! Go to Latitude with my parents, it's quite fun, see some great bands. Fall in love with The National. Following Weekend, I go to Prague with a group of friends to Fluff Fest, a hardcore festival for 15 QUID. Being onstage with Converge watching as they completely blow my mind; during 'Last Light' I sing "This is for the Hearts still beating" with Jacob Bannon and then fall into the crowd straight after. It is an incredible moment. Weekend after that, I go on tour with Cutting Pink With Knives. It is one of the most amazing week's of my life (thanks to some people on here too) and I get to see my girlfriend on tour. Momentarily saves the band.

August - See Fucked Up play 4 songs at tales of the jackalope at 2am only to get pulled for being "too violent". Have a massive 2 weeker where, I go to york with two friends to move into one of theirs new houses for the next year at uni. Stay there a couple nights. It's really good fun. Then go onto Newcastle, to see Jen who has an empty house. We party and chill respectively. I visit Glasgow and some of Jen's relatives for the first time; it's amazing. See Slint play a lukewarm performance of Spiderland at ABC. Next day head back to Newcastle see Interpol, only for them to cancel literally 5 minutes before they take stage. Silly Carlos. No matter. Go to Leeds Festival two days later. After an initial hissy fit (missing home) I have an amazing weekend where me and Jen probably become our absolute strongest. Come home not really wanting to go home anymore. See Sonic Youth weekend after. It's not as huge as me meeting them the morning after in a holiday inn in Camden.

September - Next two months are pretty heavily toured ones for Maths. This takes its toll. Regardless, I get to spend the weekend with Rolo Tomassi and it's really amazing. In London they put on a captivating performance and in Reading I find out that they're amazing people. We play first in Reading (2pm) so our being there is rather irrelevant. Regardless, I get chatting to Eva and have an amazing time, we become really good friends and I feel really pleased for it. By now I'm fully into Emo or American Indie. Loud music is pretty much non-existent in my life. I have a small dilemma about whether to go to University through clearing when I realise all my friends have gone without me. Decide to stick with band. heh.

October - Play gigs everywhere. Jen, has two epileptic fits in a week, as a result, we don't go to Manchester as planned on my birthday. Instead I turn 19 with her in Newcastle, and we can't do much because of her shaky health, but it's still good just to be with her and to see that it's not all bad. I'm kinda stressed out by her varying health. This doesn't help when I play a weekend of shows with Maths (that we previously discussed as being potentially pointless) but we do it anyway and the band nearly falls apart. The obvious cracks show themselves and I finally have enough and can't stand it any longer. I just find some of the band's attitudes and behaviour too much and can't cope. We have a huge emotional discussion at the end of it though, and everything seems OK. I spend Halloween with Tomassi in Birmingham. Do a few training days for my new job at the Theatre. Don't talk to anyone.

November - Plan to go to Glasgow to see The National and Deerhunter in a weekend but my girlfriend becomes hospitalised. Luckily she's allowed out after a day so we still get to travel up and see Deerhunter. Attempts at writing new material goes sour when I'd show up to practices and just not be particularly interested. I don't like the music we play or the people much either. After a weekend of shows (which I stayed behind to play as my friends went to Newcastle without me, gee thanks guys) The guys have enough and kick me out of the band. At first I accept it, then I get angry/worried. then I get over it again. Start my job at the theatre, it's mostly a lot of fun and I meet some good people.

December - Go to London with Jen (as a birthday present from her) to see Interpol. I have a really nice day but it pisses it out and the gig is utter tripe. Me and Jen go see my friend in York, and then Interpol in Newcastle, rescheduled from August. It is utterly amazing. I finally get to see PDA! Sent UCAS. A friend from college dies in a road accident. People came home this week, and it's been great hanging out with them again. For new years I plan to be with Jennifer either in Newcastle or Glasgow.

overall, I give it would get a 7.5. Arguably one of my most important years where I learnt and changed a lot. but not my most enjoyable (2nd to 2005). I saw a lot of my favourite bands this year and was probably where I decided I don't like gigs much any more; was part of a reasonably successful one myself, and found love that actually really means something. Incredibly lucky in that respect but never taken for granted, not any more anyway. I still manage to over think EVERYTHING and I'm still horribly scared of Death, but that's standard. What's important is that the majority of my friends that I care about (more or less) are all still here and I can use a lot of my experiences for the future. I may have given up and grown out of pretty much all heavy music, which wasn't a massively popular decision at times, but I don't regret it, and I'm still just as massively moved and influence by what I listen to now.

2008 promises; an amazing summer, festivals, radiohead and my bloody valentine. A fresh start at Uni where I can finally get the fuck out of here. And hopefully a band with people I can stand for longer than five minutes and creating something I genuinely believe in and can put my heart and soul into.

that was a load.

LCD Soundsystem - All My Friends